Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
