South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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