Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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