If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
