She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
