I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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