So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize