So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
