For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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