Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize