apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize