I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
