so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
