did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
