Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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