He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am available for nakedness
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
