either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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