lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
