sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
