Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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