and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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