I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
