I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
