So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
