Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
