Quick, to the slutcave!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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