I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
