I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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