I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
