i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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