maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
