How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize