I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
