shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
