she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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