No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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