let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
