I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i think i just lost a toe
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
