My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
