It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
