i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
