Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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