He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
