Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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