I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
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No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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