i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Mom said you looked used
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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