Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
