I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
