did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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