My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
