like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I love you. Go after that dick
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
