soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
