Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
