Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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