Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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