im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
