Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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