Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
