What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
