Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
