i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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