he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
