sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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