I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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