reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
